Dear Blog
Is it just me? Or was the phrase that Gerard took from the movie “Burlesque” just simply romantic?
Me: Tell me a lie.
Him: I need your cooking savvy to make dinner.
Me: Tell me a different lie.
Him: I don’t love you.
I am insanely happy tonight.
xoxo
Desirae
Dear Blog
I have not updated in a LONG time!!!
Married life has kept me busier than usual. A couple big events have happened since I last wrote on the 5th.
I was fired from my job on the 10th. I was devastated. (I still am a bit devastated. I’d been working there for 4 years teaching/tutoring Spanish.) The school went bankrupt and was unable to pay teachers. I was ‘lucky’ enough to get paid some compensation since I’d been working there for so long.
A week later a new owner bought the building and it is scheduled to be demolished soon. I think they are planning on opening a commercial center.
Starting a new life and unemployed has added a bit of drama. My parents told me that things would get better and that maybe this was a blessing in disguise.
Since I haven’t been able work and job openings are scarce, I dedicated myself to being a complete housewife. All the boxes are unpacked and most of the knickknacks are placed around the house. The house is still missing furniture in certain areas. I think that the Bedrooms and Kitchen/eating area are the only areas that looked like they are lived in. The dinning room has 3 different folding tables leaning against that wall and two medium wooden cabinets (one that belonged to Gerard’s mother and one that my parents bought us) where we keep the new chinaware that we received as a wedding present.
The living room has an old sofa that Gerard had in his room. Everyone says that there is one particular item that guys love and their wives hate. The sofa is the one item I hate. It is a black suede couch that has silver and blue zig-zags through it. It is too modern for our house. If I could find a way to make it disappear (burn it!) I would. But Gerry L-O-V-E-S the couch. He told me that when he got his first pay check that was what he bought. (I think that if he paid more than 10 dollars for it, he got ripped off… Have I mentioned I hate it?) I tried putting a nice blanket over it, but he takes it off every time. It is the most uncomfortable couch to sit in. I guess we are lucky that we don’t have many visitors yet. As soon as I get a new job and I pull in a decent salary I am buying us a living room set.
The office is set up with two desks so that each one of us can get work done. Gerry doesn’t work much at his desk at home, he does a lot of his work at the office. I am guessing that in the end the office is going to become more like the Library (and my small office, since I work A LOT in the office.)
We just got internet and cable hooked up a week ago. Apparently some wires were messed up and the electrician had to come over and inspect the house. Now I can happily check my emails from the comfort of my home, without running down to the local Starbucks and buy a $5 dollar coffee just to check my emails.
Anyway, staying at home has been keeping me busy. I am not sure if I enjoy the 100% stay-at-home-wife. I miss getting up early in the morning to go teach classes. There are some days when I feel like I’m going crazy. But in general, I guess it still feels like I’m in a honeymoon.
Everyone says that marriage is an adjustment. I couldn’t agree more. Gerry and I are getting use to living together, learning to co-live. He puts up with my constant nagging of cleaning up and I put up with his disorganization.
There are a lot of things that we are learning to accept about each other. However there is this one thing that Gerry does that bothers me… He doesn’t call anymore when he’s at work.
He used to call me once or twice a day…and it made me feel special that he was so considerate. I don’t need for him to call me every second, we are living together, I see him in the morning and at night. What bothers me is that he doesn’t call to tell me when he’s going out to lunch or dinner with his friends. He doesn’t call to tell me when he’ll be staying late at the office.
Maybe I am overreacting, maybe it is not a big deal. But I grew up as an only child and I was required to always check in with my parents. If I was going to be late, if I was going to a movie, if I was having lunch at school or home, etc. I had to always tell someone my thoughts and my actions.
Gerard grew up more independent and free. He never checked in. (and if he did, it was always the next day.)
I am not asking for him to call me All The Time. All I ask is for him to be considerate of me. Twice this past week I have cooked dinner and waited for him to come home. He arrives at 11:30 and tells me he has already eaten. It hurts me, because I plan a nice dinner and I feel like a fool waiting for him. I wonder if he knows that I worry for him. I worry when I don’t hear from him. I try calling him and a lot of times his cel phone is out of range or he simple doesn’t answer.
We have spoken about this topic already, but I wonder if he really understands me. I’m not being neurotic, I just want to know if I should be expecting him in the evening for a family dinner. I just want for him to check in with me.
I guess I am just learning the hard way that he has always been free and never had someone checking in with him so much. I am understanding his independence from everyone. However, he’s not alone anymore. He has me. He has to know that there is someone waiting everyday to hear from him; good news and bad news.
Marriage is harder than I thought. (And I think this isn’t even the beginning of what may come… oh gosh….)
Till next time.
Desirae
aka. Mrs. Valdespino
