Communication. Making your choice….

 

WARNING! This entry contains ‘stronger language’ than usual and some sexual references. You must be over 18 to proceed. Caution is advised.

 

Dear Blog,

There are small things about Gerry for which I am grateful for. I don’t mean that he only has minor things which make him a great person, I mean that there are things he does, aspects of his personality, that remind me why I love him.

One thing I am very grateful for is the fact that he won’t run out on our arguments. He will not walk out of the room when we are arguing. He sticks by me, he takes the time to work it out with me and he takes the time to communicate with me.

The other night was no expectation. As much as I am still hurt by what he did, what he said, I am grateful that he stayed in the house with me.

After walking out of the room and shutting myself in the “guest” bedroom, Gerry came knocking on the door. I didn’t want to let him in. I didn’t want to hear what he had to say. I wanted to erase what I had seen. I guess he knew I would not him in, so he just knocked and said he would be down in the kitchen with a fresh pot of coffee. He said he would wait in the kitchen to talk with me.

There was something in his voice that calmed my nerves a little. I can’t describe what it was in his voice that made me Want to walk downstairs and talk with him. I could feel anger boiling up inside me. I felt like just hearing the sound of his voice would make me sick and I would start screaming at him again.

I walked into the kitchen to find him sitting at the table drinking coffee. He had placed a cup of hot cocoa on my placemat. He motioned for me to sit down in front of me across the table. I sat down without touching my drink. I was about to say something when he raised his hand, stopping me from talking.

“I am still drunk Rae, so please don’t start screaming at me. I know you are angry, I know you are on the verge of slicing me into pieces, but for the sake of helping prevent an even bigger headache, don’t scream.”

“I will do my best…”

He took a big breath before looked me in the eye, fiddling with the napkin in front of him. “We…our marriage…when we entered this partnership we knew it would be challenging. I knew that if there was anyone that could make this work it would be you, but at the same time I also thought that I would have a life partner with me. I thought Bryce and I were going to last forever. I have never felt more alone than when he moved out…and then moved on…”

I leaned forward, put my hand on his hand. “I know you were hurt and I am here for you…”

“I know you are here for me, and geez, your love and support helps me a lot. Your love is a big part of my life, but there are some areas where your love is not enough. It does not mean I don’t love you, you know I do. But you have to understand, fully comprehend, that there are things I need that you can’t give me. There are sentimental and physical aspects that only another man can give me.”

“If you asked me to, I would do it…”

“No.” he stood up and pulled the chair closer to me. “Desirae, I could not ask that of you. You cannot fulfill those needs because you need to do it for Love before Lust. What we have is special and as desperate as I feel sometimes, I do not want us to be lovers. A physical relationship would ruin us.”

“Why do you say that? Why would it ruin us?”

“Because I would be doing it for simply sex and you would be doing it for love. You are a romantic, and you won’t understand the emotional baggage behind a physical relationship until you find the right guy.”

A part of me knew that what he was saying made sense. We have never gone beyond a passionate kiss, and even then, there were emotions attached . Allowing something stronger to happen would ruin us, it would ruin me. It would haunt me very time he went out with someone. “So are you saying that because you have needs, it allows you to bring random men to the house and I’m not supposed to say anything?”

“No, you are right about this being our home. I should not bring one night stands here. If anything is going to happen, we will go to his place or somewhere else.”

I felt like my head was in a cloud, stuffed with emotions I could not categorize. And I could not think of what to say, so I robotically said “Thank you.” He pulled me into a strong embrace.

“Gerard…”

“hmmm?”

“You stink like his aftershave…” I pulled away from his embrace. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to be rude. I just need to process this. I need to feel okay with all that you just said. It will sink it, but until it does, I just need some space to breath, to think.” I could feel tears in my eyes again, a rollercoaster of emotions stirred my heart. I don’t think that in that moment I was crying because of pity, I think my tears were from relief, from appreciating that he talked with me.

“Don’t cry darling…” he handed me a napkin.

“Gerry, thank you for talking to me. Thank for listening when I get upset. Thank you for taking a moment to sit down and talk about this with me. I appreciate you staying and talking this through.”

“Well, I could not let you go to bed angry or hurt. I mean, I saw you run after that guy with a knife!” he answered jokingly. “I might have been a little worried about my safety.”

I stood there in silence looking at each other for a couple minutes. I don’t know what was going through his mind, maybe he was still waiting for the buzz to die down. I kept replaying the conversation we had just shared. I don’t think it went as fluid or “calm” like I wrote, but I think Gerard got his point across. He made the choice of being “straight married” and if he didn’t have any other needs, then that would be enough. Unfortunately, there is something else missing, something that I will never be able to give.

 

 

My emotions are still a mess. I don’t know why wrote this down. I don’t know why I’m trying to make sense of this publically. I think this is just my way of “talking out loud”.

 

Thanks for listening. This was probably the most “raw” entry I’ve done inwhile. I hope it wasn’t too personal.

Till next time.

Desirae

Careful With What You Do & Say

 

Dear Blog,

I knew when I married Gerry that it wouldn’t just be the two of us. I knew that there would always be someone else, someone who truly held his heart. But I expected that other person to be someone I knew, someone I could trust. I thought that other person would always be Bryce. It never occurred to me that they would break up or that Bryce would move away. When it happened I didn’t think much of it because I was thrilled that I would be spending ‘alone’ time with Gerard. I was foolishly exciting about starting a life with my husband.

I forgot for awhile that it’s never “just the two of us”. There is always another man in the picture, there is always another person on his mind.

Today I was reminded of that ‘ugly truth’. I was reminded that he’s not just mine to love.

 

I went to work in the morning to see if the books I ordered for the classes next year came in.  My coordinator has been on my case about ordering the books so  she can approve them before sending out the list of School Supplies to the parents.  Unfortunately the books hadn’t come in yet, so I spend the morning on the phone with the delivery people trying to figure out why there was a delay. It was a hectic morning. Then during the afternoon I went shopping for some new bath towels. The ones we have in our bathroom are getting discolored and the fabric seems to be thinning. They aren’t in good shape anymore!! I found some very nice light green towels, but they didn’t match the master bathroom. I bought a set of the hand towels because they match the half bathroom downstairs. It took me awhile to find nice (*inexpensive*) bath towels for the master bathroom, but after a couple hours of browsing through stores I found thick, fluffy beige towels. I am very pleased with them. The fabric is very sturdy and thick and they are jumbo size. I could probably pass them off as beach towels if I wanted to.

Gerard wanted me to get plain white towels, but I think that is too boring. The bathroom is a very neutral color and I wanted to brighten up the place a bit. I know beige doesn’t do much, but at least it is a little hint of color. While I was in the bathroom department I found some creative looking soaps that smell like almonds.

I couldn’t wait to get home and fix the bathroom to surprise Gerry. I’d spent most of the day at moll shopping so it was almost 7:00pm when I arrived to the house. I had told my mother I would stop by and visit with her, but I called her up and canceled. I wanted to get home and prepare dinner. As I pulled into the driveway I was surprised to see Gerry’s car along with another car parked behind him. I figured that he brought over a client or maybe a family member had stopped by.

I walked into the house and saw him sitting on the couch in the TV room passionately kissing another man. I noticed two empty wine glasses on the table, it was clear that they had been drinking for awhile.   I was taken aback and my jaw dropped as I observed what was happening before my eyes. I dropped the bags I was holding and sound they made when they hit the floor interrupted the two men.

“Gerry!?” I exclaimed as I noticed his messing hair, unbuttoned shirt and unclasped belt. I felt sick at my stomach.

“Rae!” He looked surprised to see me, but he didn’t try and concealing what was going on. “I thought you weren’t coming home until later tonight…” I could hear that his speech was a bit sluggish. He was drunk.

“I—I…” My brain froze. I couldn’t think of what to say. Was I actually feeling guilty for come home early?? I’d be damned if he made me feel bad!

The man, the stranger next to my husband, stared me down as if he had every right to be there and I was the maid. He turned to Gerry and asked; “Who is that?” By the sound of his voice, he was also slightly drunk.

I threw my hands up in the air out of exasperation. I couldn’t believe it! The gall of him asking WHO I was. I heard Gerard answer that I was his wife…at least he was being honest.

“You are married?” the stranger exclaimed.

I walked up to him, grabbing the shirt and jacket that were on the floor next to him and threw them at him. “Yes!” I yelled. “I am his wife…Now. Get. Out!”

The stranger made no attempt to move, instead he seemed to have a smirk on his face. Gerry stood up and putting his hands on my shoulder tried calming me down. I shoved him away and I continued to scream at the guy to leave. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a chopping knife on the drying board in the kitchen. Somewhere or somehow I got the nerve to walk into the kitchen pick up the knife and walk back into the TV. Well, that got the stranger moving!! He jumped up off the cough and clumsily reached for his shirt and shoes. Gerry held his hands up as if trying to stop me. I waved the knife in the stranger’s direction. I didn’t have any real intention of harming him, I merely wanted to scare him and get him out of the house.

“I said, Get Out of My House, NOW!!!” I was so angry and hurt. As I continued to yell ‘Get Out!’ I felt hot tears run down my cheeks. The guy ran out of the house, got in his car and drove away faster than anyone I’d ever seen. I don’t think I’ll  be seeing him again. As his car disappeared into the distance, a full blast of emotions hit me and dropping the knife I fell to my knees. I couldn't stop the tears from falling and I felt like my heart was being ripped.

“Rae… I…” Gerry leaned down and tried putting his arm on my shoulder, but I shoved him away.

“Who is he?” I asked.  “How long have you known him?”

“I…” Gerard sat down on the couch and tried tucking in his shirt. I could tell he was trying to get his thoughts together. I was terrified of the answer he was going to give me. “I met him at a bar the other night when I had drinks with my co-workers.”

“You met him at a bar… the other day…” I couldn’t believe it. “You went for drinks two days ago. Are you saying you met this guy two days ago?..” I was so mad at him I started screaming at him. “Gerry, what the hell were you thinking!! This is our home!! Not your personal brothel! You are married!..”

“It’s not a real marriage Desirae! Stop believing this lie!! This isn’t real! I only married you because of my job!” He yelled back at me waving his hands in the air. “I’m so sick of your silly romance and your jealously. Get it for once in your head that this isn’t a real marriage, it never was and it never will  be…”

“I know this isn’t real! You never stop repeating that. I know this marriage means nothing to you.”   I said as I screamed back. “I know that I will never be enough for you and I know all to well what benefits you get by pretending to have a perfect marriage…but this is beyond just my ‘silly romance or jealousy’. Have you thought of what could happen if anyone saw you with a man? Have you even thought of what could happen if that One Night stand leads to your ‘secret’ being exposed?…”

Gerry stared at me as I continued to yell at him. “You don’t know that man! Think of what you are doing!! Now I never said anything when Bryce was around because I knew him. I trusted him. I knew that he would never expose your secret or gain any information that could be used against you…Bryce knew about me, he knew you had a wife. You have somewhat of a moral commitment. You still don’t get that you aren’t alone. You’re actions don’t just affect you, they could affect me and your family…”

Gerard listen to every word I said, I could tell  he still had a buzz from the wine, but I knew he was listening to my argument. It didn’t change the fact that I was, am, angry at him.

“I am sorry…” he finally said. “You are right I wasn’t thinking. But I think you are over thinking this, it was just going to be a one time thing…”

“If you want a one night stand then take your date to a motel!! Don’t you ever bring a stranger into our home!” I ran upstairs and locked myself in the guest bedroom, my old room.

I hear Gerry moving around downstairs and I think he’ll be coming up later to go to bed. I can’t look at him right now. I can’t stand him this moment. He didn’t say much and he doesn’t seem worried about what happened. I am disgusted and hurt. I knew that Gerry would find someone else after Bryce left, but I expected for it to be slower and something real…

I can’t write anymore. I am tired… I just wish  he knew to be careful with the way he acts and the things he says or doesn’t say.

 

I can’t stay if this is how things will be…

 

till next time

Desirae Valdespino

Dear Gerry,

Dear Gerry,
The truth is I don't want to find another guy that could make me feel the way I feel about you.
Maybe I am scared at the possiblity of another man in my life stealing your shine.
Or I am just scared.
The truth is that I love how you understand me and make me smile. I love that you understand me even when I feel like I am not making sense.
Thank you for everything.
Thank you for lots of fond memories.
Thank you for loving me in your own special way.

Always yours

Desirae Valdespino

COUNTDOWN!! Best Surprise Ever!!

Gerry surprised me with tickets for Orlando Florida this Summer!! He is taking me for a nice vacation!! 

I'm so happy!!! The countdown begins!!

FAQ’s III

 

 

1) How were you able to afford a house?

How were you able to afford a house if you were newlyweds? What was your process to find the house?

It wasn’t easy, that is for sure. When Gerard proposed I still had a one more year of college to finish. He had graduated earlier and was working. I worked a lot of part-time jobs while I finished my studies. Basically we had a whole year to save up for our house. We started house hunting around May 2010 and in August we found “the perfect” house.

Gerard and I had a yearlong engagement, so that gave us enough time to save up for a house. Originally we started saving up for an apartment, and of course, the wedding. As elaborate as the wedding was, we didn’t spend a lot on it. The center pieces and most of the decorations were made by family members. Probably a big amount of the money used to buy the house came from me. I sold the rights to one of my novels that I had turned into a screenplay to a local Movie company. They paid me a lot for the story, since they turned it into television series and they asked me to give up 100% any ownership over it. Basically we bought the house with our savings.

 

2) Your husband seems to be able to offer you economic stability. Why do you work?

Gerry is working; he should be able to support you, why don’t you quit?

I love my job and I love working. I feel like I’m still too young to be “tied-down” by just being a housewife. Gerry and I have spoken about the possibility of one of us not working in the future, but right now we are both content with our jobs. Also, I feel like I worked too hard in college to simply graduate and then not put to use some of the knowledge I gained. My job hours are still shorter than Gerry’s work hours, so I have time to be home and do my wife duties.

 

3) You said that before you rarely stayed in the same room (bedroom). What has changed since you began staying in the same bed?

Hahaha. I think I know what you are hinting at. I’m not answering this question. I’m merely addressing it because I get similar questions about “what happens in the bedroom…” I write about our life, but what happens in the bedroom stays there.

 

4) I’m getting married to my best friend in 2 months. I’ve been following your story for awhile. I was wondering what song you and your husband danced to during the reception?

Congratulations on your wedding! Enjoy your special day; it really goes by so fast! Gerry and I danced to “For the First Time” by Ron Stewart. We debated about what song we should dance to. Our Top Five options were; “I love you baby”, “For the first time”, “From this moment”, “When you kiss me”, and “Amazed”. We threw out the last two options because these were songs that we’d danced with our Ex’s at some point.

 

5) How are your brother-in-laws? Do you have a good relationship with them?

Yes. I have a nice relationship with them. They are usually busy with their jobs, so we rarely see each other, except at family get-togethers. I don’t write a lot about them, because when we see them, nothing exciting happens. I probably should include them, just to add something interesting to our life.

 

6) After your recent trip to promote your book and the Stop Bullying Campaign, have you considered what would happen if your job asked you to relocate?

Your question is indeed something that has been on my mind a bit. It has occurred to me that at any point Gerard’s job or my job could require for us to relocate. I think that if that happened to Gerry, I wouldn’t think about it too much and simply move. I would look for another job and find a way to make things work. I don’t know if Gerry would do the same for me, but I’d like to think so. Obviously before the move we would have to consider if the job offer is worth it or not.

 

7) What is the best gift you have gotten for or from each other?

One of my favorite gifts from Gerry is a life-size stuffed animal bear; which is called ThunderBear. Gerard knows that I don’t like thunder storms. They make me nervous and I’ll admit that I’m a little afraid of loud storms. So, before we stayed in the same room, he bought me a huge bear to hug during stormy nights. I love that bear because it is very soft and it has long arms that are comfy to wrap around me.

I think that one of the best gifts that he’s gotten from me, is a fancy wristwatch and on the back of it I had engraved “I always have time for you”

 

8) Does your husband read your stories or novels?

I have been asked this question a lot and I have avoided it for awhile. I mainly didn’t want to answer it because I was embarrassed with the answer, yet after thinking it over; I realized it doesn’t make any difference. Gerard doesn’t read anything I write. He’ll listen to my ideas for stories and maybe read a couple draft ideas, but doesn’t read the final product. I am relieved at the fact that he’s not really interested in my books. I write mostly fiction and he prefers historical novels or books that are in the NewYork Bestsellers. It’s actually good that he’s not interested in my books because I don’t would like him criticizing my characters! He is supportive of my “paying-hobby” but that’s the extent of his involvement in my stories.

 

9) Have you met each other’s Ex’s? How did you react?

We have met each other’s former romantic interests, but it’s never gone beyond a random encounter at the supermarket or on the street. If you want to hear story of one encounter with Ex’s, here goes:

One of Gerry’s’ old flame got married (to a girl) last year. We got an invitation for the wedding, but opted not to go because it would be awkward. We sent a nice gift and wished them a happy life. When I was in High School I dated a guy for a few months. He wasn’t exclusive, so I didn’t consider him to be my boyfriend. The relationship ended because he was always treating me badly. He would say horrible things to me, making me feel ugly and unwanted. One day, while we were in college, Gerard and I went on a friend-date to the movies. As we were leaving the movie theater we ran into my EX. (I had told Gerry about him previously). EX walked up to me and said a vulgar comment. He started making fun of me again. Gerard stood up for me by putting EX in his place and standing with me. His support during that horrible encounter was priceless, and he showed me that I was worth more than what my EX said.

 

10) Do you playfully do things that bother one other?

Yes! He leaves things laying around the house or give me sloppy kisses on the forehead! (ugh!!!)

And I pretend to burn his outfits or accidently shrink his shirts. Hahaha

 

 

Thanks for your questions!! I’ll be posting more later!

Have a wonderful day!

Till Next Time

Desirae Valdespino

FAQ II--- The Boyfriend/Husband TAG

 

The Boyfriend Husband/ Wife Tag

I’ve gotten a few requests to answer “The Boyfriend Tag”. I wasn’t going to do it at first because it seemed to long, but after awhile I got curious and decided to answer it with Gerry. He doesn’t know it is for my blog, he thinks it’s one of my crazy random ideas. We were sitting outside on our lawn chairs enjoying the fresh air and looking at the stars. I’ll provide both His answers as well as My answers.

 

1) She/ He is sitting in front of the TV what is on the screen?

Him: Rae is watching anything from a musical show to a reality-TV show. You are a television addict. (very true!)

Me: Gerry doesn’t watch TV a lot. He prefers watching movies. However if he happens to have the TV on he is watching a cooking program or Discovery Channel.

Him: You normally prefer the junky shows, I prefer the educational ones. (LOL)

 

 

2) You're out to eat what kind of dressing does he/she get on his/her salad

Him: That is a no-brainer. Caesar salad with Caesar dressing.

Me: 10 Points! Gerry doesn’t like dressing on his salad.

 

 

3) What’s one food he/she doesn’t like?

Him: (looking puzzled) One food? Like a meal?

Me: I guess?

Him: You aren’t crazy about sushi and you hate celery.

Me: True. I can’t think of a meal you don’t like. You don’t like your food too greasy.

Him: I don’t like Macaroni and cheese.

Me: Really? I didn’t know that. I guess you are lucky I don’t make it that much.

Him: That’s why I married you. (LOL)

 

 

4) You go out to eat and have a drink what does he/she order?

Him: If it’s a non-alcoholic drink it is a Diet soda or Zero soda. If it is an alcoholic drink it is a strawberry daiquiri.

Me: Or rum and soda. I have the bad habit of not drinking anything alcoholic unless you get it for me.

Him: Now that I think about it, it’s true. You won’t drink unless I do.

*bonding moment*

Me: You love drinking lots of water and I don’t think you have 1 specific alcoholic drink. It depends on your mood.

 

 

5) What size shoe does he/she wear?

Him: (LOL) Do you want me to answer that?

Me: NO! Forget that question.

Him: We wear the same shoe size. You wear a 10/11 American women shoe size and I wear an 11/12 men size. However your shoes fit me.

 

 

6) If he/she was collecting anything what would it be?

Him: You collect Frogs and anything related to fairytales: ceramic fairies, decorative wizards, etc.

Me: You collect cloths and stamps from every place you’ve visited.

 

 

7) What is her/her favorite type of sandwich?

Him: You like Ham sandwiches or grilled cheese sandwiches.

Me: You love any sandwich.

 

 

8) What would this person eat everyday if he/she could?

Him: You would eat chocolate or anything sweet.

Me: I have no idea what you would eat every day. You pretty much eat anything and everything.

 

 

9) What is his/her favorite cereal?

Him: You like Rice Krispies.

Me: You enjoy whole brand and sweet cereal, so it could either be Raisin Brand or anything kids cereal.

 

 

10) What is his/her favorite music?

Him: I know you say your favorite music is “everything and anything” depending on your mood, but you always listen to classical instrumental music or opera.

Me: You listen to the latest hits, it doesn’t matter who. And you hate my musical opera CD’s.

 

 

11) What is his/her favorite sports team?

Him: Philadelphia Phillies.

Me: You don’t have a favorite sports team, but you enjoy soccer.

 

 

12) What is his/her eye color?

Him: At first glance they look Dark brown, almost black. But in the sun they look hazel, like a glistening amber.

Me: That is incredibly sweet and romantic.

Him: Now tell what color my sea blue eyes are…

Me: (LOL) You have brown eyes, the color of a Louis Vuitton purse.

Him: Now that is romantic.

 

 

13) Who's his/her best friend?

Him: Me!

Me: Who is my best gal friend…?

Him: Michelle Smith?

Me: Wrong! My best friend, my childhood friend, is Patricia. I met Michelle when I was in High School. We are close right now because Patricia moved last year.

Him: And who is my best friend?

Me: Danielle, your doctor friend.

 

 

14) What is something you do that he/she wishes you wouldn’t?

Him: I know you wish I was more organized, in the sense that I wouldn’t leave my things everywhere.

Me: Not more organized, you are pretty organized. I wish you would be as organized at home as you are at work.

Him: So what is something you do that I wish you wouldn’t?

Me: You wish I wouldn’t be as neurotic or intense with things?

Him: Correct!

 

 

15) You bake him/her a cake for his/her birthday. What kind of cake?

Him: I don’t bake. I order a freshly baked French Vanilla cake from the local bakery.

Me: I bake you a Strawberry Shortcake with lots of frosting.

Him: Now I’m hungry…

 

16) Did he/she play any sports?

Him: You used to play basketball, but now you enjoy occasionally playing volleyball.

Me: You play soccer whenever you get a chance.

 

 

17) What could he/she spend hours doing?

Him: Sleeping.

Me: Sleeping.

 

 

18) What is one unique talent he/she has?

Him: Your capacity to love. You love life no matter what it throws at you. Most of all, you love me and my family. Also you have a talent for writing and the patience to do so…

Me: I think that is the nicest thing you’ve ever told me.

Him: Don’t get mushy on me. What is my talent?

Me: For one you have a great sense of putting outfits together and designing them. I am surprised that you don’t sketch more. Also you have an amazing talent of surprising me and making me feel safe.

 

 

19) Where did we meet?

Him: At college.

Me: At a party, a college party.

 

 

20) Where was our first date?

Him: I’m not sure we have ever had a date…

Me: Well, when did we first go out just the two of us? Do you remember?

Him: Nope.

Me: A few weeks after we met at the college party you invited me for coffee on campus. We went for coffee and then we sat together in the library talking for almost two hours.

Him: I don’t remember that at all…

 

 

21) When and how did you know I was the one?

Him: I knew you were important to me a few months before I proposed. While we were at a party and I was drunk, I asked you if you loved me. You looked me in the eye and very seriously said “I love you no matter what. I love you when you are sober, I love you when you are drunk, I love you at your best and at your worst.” I knew right then and there that you had a big part of my heart. I can’t love you the way another man could, but I knew right then and there that I could never imagine a life without you being part of it.

Me: I knew you were important to me in third or fourth semester of college when said “I love you” for the first time. You taught me to not be afraid of every decision I took. You gave me confidence to believe in who I was. One day when I was depressed at home you called me and while we chatted you said “I love you.” I didn’t know then that you weren’t in love with me, but those words made me feel special.

 

 

22) What was your first impression?

Him: You had no sense of style. You looked lost and hopeless.

Me: I thought you were cute, but you seemed to have that “know-it-all” attitude.

 

 

23) When did you meet the family?

Him: I don’t remember when I met your mother. Was it at your birthday?

Me: No, but close enough. You met my parents when they dropped me off at that party you invited me to shortly after we started hanging out. I guess the first time you came to a family reunion was when I had my birthday party.

Him: I remember that. Your whole family was there.

Me: I met your mother about a year after we started hanging out and I don’t think I really met your father until months before your graduation.

 

 

24) Who wears the pants in the relationship?

Him: I do.

Me: I do.

 

 

 

Thanks!!! Hope you enjoyed!

Till Next Time

 

Desirae Valdespino

 

 

 

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Our Valentine’s Day History

 

 

February 14^th, 2010= (2 months since Engagement)

We had just gotten engaged two months before and we were still adjusting to the idea of being engaged. I kept trying to drop Gerard hints that it would be sweet if he surprised me at school with flowers, balloons or a stuffed animal. Instead I just got a text message at 8:00 at night saying “Happy V Day Rae.” That was it. He went out to dinner with Bryce that night. I was a little hurt; I thought he would have at least gotten me a Valentine’s Day card. I had gotten him a card and mug with chocolates. I remember tearing up the card and throwing it away. I gave him the mug afterwards. I’ve never been a fan of Valentine’s Day, and not having the chance to spend it with him hurt me.

Looking back at that year, I remembering having to adjust a bit to the “pretend-life” and “real-life”. I kept getting caught up in the “pretend-life” where he romantically loved me. Relationships are never easy, and our relationship seemed very rocky since we got engaged. Last year I accidently let it slip how hurt I was that he didn’t seem interest in our first Valentine’s. He admitted that he had forgotten to get me something and was too embarrassed to admit it. “I preferred to ignore it, than admit that I hadn’t gotten you anything. You have always been thoughtful and good with details. I knew that you had gotten me something. By the time I remembered, everything was sold out. I wasn’t used to thinking about getting romantic details for you.”

 

 

February 14^th, 2011= (2 Months since Wedding)

Our first Valentine’s as a married couple. We spent it in a family way, by inviting our parents out for dinner. We invited Gerry’s brothers to come along, but they were off doing their own thing. So it ended up just being his parents and my parents. We took them out to a fancy restaurant and talked for long hours. Considering that we were still newlyweds our parents wanted to know how we were adjusting to our new life and how we were enjoying our home. It was one of the best Valentine’s Day ever because it wasn’t overly romantic or cliché. We simply spent the romantic day with the family members we loved most. (Bryce was absent this Valentine’s because he was busy at work. The guys celebrated that Friday 18^th, a late Valentine’s Day.)

I bought Gerard a leather wallet and placed it inside his nightstand drawer along with some Hershey chocolate kisses. I placed a note that said “There are plenty of more kisses from where these came from.” He almost fell of the bed laughing at my corny phrase.

He bought me a nice card and a medium size Teddy-bear. He called it ThunderBear. He knows that Thunder makes me very nervous, so he told me that whenever I feel unsafe that I should hug the bear. I love that bear to this day and it sits on my bed.

 

 

February 14^th, 2012= 2^nd Valentine’s Day as Husband and Wife

Gerry and I both had to get up early today. I knew things would be hectic at school with the Valentine’s Day Fair so I wanted to get there early. Gerard had to set up the “Red and White” fashion show at a small studio that would start in the afternoon.

The night before I bought heart shaped cookies and Valentine’s Day decorated pastries. We don’t normally eat such sweet things in the morning, but I figured that we needed the sugar high in the morning. Gerard thought I was being ridiculous decorating for Valentine’s and buying commercial things. The neighbors seemed to enjoy the Heart-shaped decorations I placed on the windows and the plastic Cupid figurine sitting on the back window of my car.

“The neighbors think you are insane…” He would tell me at night when I turned on the pink and red lights around the front door.

“They know I am a teacher who enjoys being creative.”

So this morning we had a festive breakfast. I hadn’t considered that the red coloring on the pastries would stain our tongues or lips. It was cute to see Gerry walk out of the door with red lips. I told him that if someone asked, to just tell them his wife gave him lots of kisses before he walked out the door. (LOL).

I planned his romantic gift a month ago when I got online and ordered a beautiful fruit arrangement from EdibleArrangements.com. I wanted to get something my husband would enjoy. I asked them to send it to his work at noon on Valentine’s. I hoped they would deliver it on time.

When I got to school I was greeted with a lot of cute notes and chocolates from my students. After recess at 12:00, I made sure the students behaved during the fair. I saw Alex standing next to the cupcake stand and decided to see if he needed any help selling the treats.

“Hello Mrs. Valdespino, Happy Valentine’s Day!” He greeted me as I walked up. “Can I interest you into buying a cupcake?”

“No thank you! I think I’ve had too many sweets already!” I looked at the red, pink and while cupcakes with little messages on each one. “They look delicious!”

“Oh, too bad, I had a special one saved here for you.”

“Really? What kind is it?”

“Vanilla with chocolate filling. Look…” he showed me the cupcake. “It has a message on it: U R Sweet”.

“Oh, alright.” I handed him the money and bought the cupcake.

A student walked up to Alex and said “Professor, tell us a poem!” Then she turned to me and asked if I knew any romantic poems. I replied that I couldn’t think of any at the moment. She continued to insist that Alex think of a poem.

“I don’t know how to start…” he began and turned to me.

I smiled and said “Start with the typical—Roses are red, Violets are Blue…”

“Roses are red, Violets are blue, This day I used to dread, Until I met you” He answered, staring straight into my eyes. I looked at him, surprised by his poem. My wedding ring suddenly itched on my finger. I smiled politely and pretended that someone was calling me at the other end of the fair.

My cel-phone suddenly rang.

“Hello?”

“Hello darling! Happy V Day!” Gerry’s voice echoed on the other end of the line.

“Darling…hi.”

“I just got a delicious fruit arraignment delivered to my office. It doesn’t say who it is from. There is just a little blank note with a red kiss mark on it. I already called the mistress…” he joked. “So it must be from you! Thanks!”

He commented how he liked my thoughtfulness and his co-workers joked about how I was spoiling him. We agreed to go meet at the house before going out to dinner. While we spoke Alex walked up to me. I hung up with Gerry. Alex put his hands up in a motion to stop me from walking away.

“I… I didn’t mean to offend you with the poem.”

“I’m married.” I replied like robot. “Happily married.”

“I know, I am sorry… I don’t know what came over me.” He looked at me before continuing. “I don’t mean to intrude or imply anything…”

I stopped him before he continued. “Alex, it doesn’t mean anything. We are friends, you are a romantic and poet, and you just got carried away with all the celebration…”

“Corazon, I am attracted to you. This day didn’t have anything to do with it…”

I suddenly felt an uncomfortable tightness in my gut when he called me a loving name, Corazon, (heart). I didn’t like this familiarity he seemed to want to have with me. I thought Alex was cute, but he was also my co-worker and this felt wrong. It felt too sudden and it wasn’t right.

“Don’t ever call me that.” I said. “I don’t know where this is coming from, but I suggest you stop it. That name is something only my husband can call me.”

I heard the bell ring, allowing the students to return to their classrooms and then head home. I walked back to the teacher’s office and picked up my purse. I wanted to get home as soon as possible. It felt awkward begin at school.

Before I went home I drove to my parent’s house to see them. They were going to go to the movies later, so I didn’t stay too long. Once I got home I continued with the laundry and did a little dusting around the house. I found a wrapped present in the guest bedroom. It was from Gerry. I opened it and found a beautiful black beaded purse with a silver necklace.

I’ve decided to wear both tonight. I don’t think we’ll go anywhere very fancy, but I want to look nice.

I’ll write later.

Happy Valentine’s Day Everyone!!

Till tomorrow!!

Love

Desiare Valdespino

Looking Through the ScrapBook

 

Dear Blog

 

I was looking through my old journals today and I  found an only entry from when I started seriously hanging out with Gerard (and before I knew he wasn’t interested in me at all).  I thought I would add it here because I think it' is cute (a bit embarrassing, but cute) also because it made me smile. When Gerry get's home later I’ll show it to him.

 

Second/Third Semester of College

We had lunch today. It was fun, we sat with a couple of his friends in the cafeteria. They talked mostly about school and odd topics. After lunch I still had another hour before my class started. We decided to sit out on the grassy part of the campus. It was a sunny day, so we sat under a tree. Simon said he was a bit tired, so he wanted to take a short nap in the shade. As he doze off I read the article we would be seeing in class. I can´t say I remember what I read, it just seem like words on words… like it was sum strange language. My eyes kept vending over to watch Simon sleeping. A couple times blew air on him with my notebook. He looked different, like it was a dream watching him sleep. It felt like it was wrong… why was I next to him? Why did I worry about him? My last thought went to Nature itself…. “why do you tempt me and hurt me by showing me a handsome man, knowing I will never be loved by one?”

He opened his eyes, smiled and me and said: “why are you staring at me? Am I drooling?“

“You were snoring” I said. “softly, but you were snoring.”

He smiled, stretched and held my hand in silence for a couple minutes. I think my heart stopped for that minute we held hands. They fit perfectly together.

“Do you have plans for Friday 27^th?” I asked.

“No, I do not think so. Why do you ask”

“I have an extra ticket to go to the upcoming Ballet show. Do you want to come?”

“Sure! I would love to go.”

 

That was one of the first times we went to an event together.  I can’t remember what the Ballet was about, probably some romantic corny story, but I had a wonderful time with him. I remember the event ending too soon for my liking.

A year later, after we became close friends I admitted to Gerard that I had the biggest crush on him. He smiled and gave me his usual reply “Honey, You’re not exactly my type.” To this day, I wonder if he really knew that I had a big crush on him.

I guess that since he is my husband I should automatically assume he knew, and tell people we had a crush on each other for years. My grandmother used to tell me “You two have been an item since College. He should make up his mind and marry you!”  I used to laugh whenever she would say that. 

I’m very fond of Gerard and I am happy with him, but it’s fun to look back into the scrapbook and find fond memories.

 

Till Next Time

 

Desirae Valdespino

 

 

 

 

 

 

LiveJournal Tags: remembering,scrapbook,second,third,semester,college,ballet,crush,hanging,out,fond,Gerard,Desirae,Valdespino,memory,memories

Our Family Tree

 

Dear Blog

Here is a quick family tree. Hope you enjoy!! :)

 

 

xoxo

Desirae Valdespino

Quick SUM UP of the Last 2 Years…

 

For those of you who know me, you know very well that December is my favorite month. I love the cold weather and I love celebrating Christmas. While we are on the subject, I’ll answer a question I got a couple days ago. Someone asked me how I’ve spent the holidays since I first got engaged until now… Well, here is a quick breakdown of our important dates in the month of December:

2009

December 22^nd 2009 == We got Engaged (We told his parents the next day…)

December 24^th/December 25^th== Our First Christmas as couple and it turned out his family left earlier that day, Christmas Eve, and he went to the Beach. We didn’t spend Christmas together and I saw him after New Year’s. My parents and I spend Christmas dinner, as usual, at my grandparent’s house and then we went home. I texted Gerard to his cel phone to wish him a Merry Christmas.

December 31^st, 2009--January 1^st, 2010= =Gerard had gotten back from his vacation the day before, but he kept finding excuses for us not to get together. We mainly spoke on the phone. I had a family New Year’s dinner get together. I invited him but he had plans with his family. His mother invited me to join them. I told Gerry that since he spent Christmas with his family he should spend New Years with my family. He told me the same thing. Since we didn’t agree on anything, we each spent it with our respective family members. We call each other at midnight.

2010

Graduated from College December 3^rd, 2010

Married December 15^th 2010

Honeymoon: December 16^th until the 23^rd.

December 22^nd, 2010== We celebrated our One Year Engagement in the Airplane in the way back from the Honeymoon. Due to the time difference we arrived back home on the 23^rd. Technically since we were already married, there wasn’t a big point in celebrating it.

December 24^th,, 2010== We went to mass at his Church with his family and then we went over to my grandparent’s house. We had Christmas-eve dinner there and then we went over to his Mother’s house. She had the whole family over. Most years Gerry spends half of the time at his mother’s, with her family and then at this fathers house with this family. This time to avoid having us going back and forth everyone met up at her house. It was a nice evening. We arrived back at our house at 4:00a.m.

December 25^th== We spent the morning at our house opening the gifts from each other. It didn’t take long but we’d slept in a little longer than expected. In the afternoon, our parents came to our house and we had roasted ham, mashed potatoes, a vegetable casserole my mother-in-law made and lots of other leftovers. We exchanged gifts and enjoyed the evening. Since we still didn’t have a lot of furniture, my father-in-law lent us folding tables and chairs to set up for the afternoon.

December 31^st, 2010—January 1^st, 2011== We spent New Year’s at a mutual friend’s party. I am still not a huge fan of New Years but it was an enjoyable evening with friends. We danced and took pictures wearing silly bright-colored hats with the years “2010-2011” marked on it.

2011

December 1^st to 13^th== My Business Trip.

December 15^th, 2011== First Year Wedding Anniversary.

December 22^nd, 2011== Second Year Engagement Anniversary. I’m probably the only one that cares about this date, but we celebrated with a nice dinner.

December 24^th, 2011== Gerard’s father hosted Christmas Eve dinner at his place this year. Unfortunately we knew due to the driving distance we wouldn’t make it over to my parents or grandparents house (where traditionally we celebrate Christmas Eve dinner). So we stopped by earlier to wish my parents a Merry Christmas. We agreed we would celebrate Christmas Eve at Gerry’s father’s house and then Christmas lunch with my parents. It’s complicated to have to split time between 2 families. (Really there are 3 families, since his parents are divorced and we have to spare time with each one, so it’s His Father, His Mother and My Parents.) Christmas Eve was delightful at my father-in-law’s house. He’d invited family from both sides (his and my mother-in-law’s). They brought out old family videos and we watched them on his Widescreen TV. It was adorable to see what Gerard looked like as a little kid.

December 25^th, 2011== We woke up late and enjoyed a good breakfast before we tackled our presents. Then we went to my parent’s house and had lunch with them. Compared to the energetic evening we’d spent at my in-laws, the afternoon with my parents was quiet. Even though this was the second Christmas that I haven’t spent at my parents house (since I’m married), I could tell my mom still has a hard time with it. The month of December has always been my favorite month and Christmas is my favorite holiday. I know my mom misses having me at home with her. I am a couple minutes drive away, but I think sometimes she still feels lonely without me.

December 31^st, 2011—January 1^st, 2012== The FIRST year, I can say that it was the Best New Year’s Ever. We spent it at home, in our warm PJ’s, watching the Countdown on television. I called my parents and in-laws to wish them a Happy New Year. Then Gerard and I spent the rest of the night watching old movies. It was perfect. There wasn’t too much excitement and nobody made a big deal out of the New Year. It was a nice relaxing evening.

I go back to work on the 9^th of January, but I’ll try and write more again soon! Updates for the missing days coming up soon!

Till Next Time

Desirae Valdespino

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

LiveJournal Tags: Christmas,2009,2010,2011,breakdown,updates,update,engagement,marriage,friend,Gerard,Desirae,love,summing,up,the,past,couple,of,years,together,December,new year,New Years,Eve,celebrating,in-laws,parents,wedding

Happy New Year 2012

 

 

Happy New Year Everyone.

I hope you all have a wonderful and blessed New Year.

Thank you for caring,

Thank you for reading,

Thank you for taking time out of your day to share it with us,

Thank you for listening,

Thank you for commenting,

Thank you for hanging around with us

during the past Ups and Down this year has brought us.

 

I look forward to sharing another year with you all.

Happy, Happy New Year 2012!!

 

May this Year bring you a lot of happiness

The courage to fulfill the dreams you’re aiming for,

And the strength to always get up when it seems hard.

 

Sending lots of good vibes and love

Best wishes from

Gerard and Desirae Valdespino

 

 

 

 

 

LiveJournal Tags: happy,new,years,2012,hoping,everyone,has,a,wonderful,beginning,to,love,Gerard,Desirae,best,wishes,readers